The simple answer is: If you use the wife's professional title, write the letter to: Dr. Jane Smith and Mr. Stanley Smith or Dr. Jane and Mr. Stanley Smith. You can also use Ms. if she gives you permission to do so.
However, using her title is not necessary unless it is customary in your state or country. For example, in the United States, most people would just call their spouse by their first name, so writing to "Dr. Jane Smith" would be unnecessary.
In general, when you are writing to more than one person with equal claim to a given name, spell it out to avoid any confusion. So, if you were writing to both parents of a young child, you would write to Mrs. John Jones and Mr. William Williams rather than simply to "John Jones" and "William Williams."
Writing to doctors is different from other professions because they have special titles that indicate their status. So, addressing a letter to a doctor as "Dr. Jane Smith" would be appropriate.
However, their last name does not need to be included on letters addressed to them.
Addressing a Letter: Mr. , Dr. , or Mrs. When writing to a guy, the proper title is "Mr. Even if you know the addressee's marital status, use Ms. for a woman. Otherwise, she might think you're hitting on her!" Writing to two people of different sexes requires some special handling. The simple solution is to write one letter that both men and women will find appealing.
There are many more titles available, depending on the nature of the relationship with the person you're writing to. If you are friends with this person, you can call him or her by his or her first name. If you are more than friends, you have the option of using any of these titles: Sir/Ma'am, Lord/Lady, Professor/Doctor, Manager, President, Owner, Regent, Royalty, Supervisor, Teacher, Vice President, etc.
Titles are also used when writing to people who hold high offices such as senators and representatives. In this case, your letter should be addressed to the highest office held by the person. For example, if the president is a man, then your letter should be addressed to "The President". If he or she has no party, then your letter should simply read "President".
When sending a wedding invitation to a doctor, the spouse with the professional title should be named first. This implies you'll use "Dr. and Mrs." or "Dr. and Mr." If the spouse has the same profession as the bride or groom, then they would be addressed as such.
If the spouses differ in profession, then each should be listed separately after their marital status. For example, if the bride is a lawyer and the groom is not, then they would be invited separately as "Mr. and Mrs. X" and "Mrs. Y", respectively.
Doctors often have several titles after their names, such as "M.D.", "Ph. D.", or "J.D.". If the spouse has more than one title, too, such as "Ms. Drumblum" then each should be listed separately after their name, for example: "Ms. Drumblum Ph. D."
Spouses who do not have a title are usually given an honorific instead, such as "Mrs. Smith" or "Mr. Brown". This is dependent on what kind of relationship the couple has with regard to marriageability.
If a lady is married, she should be addressed as Mrs. If you're inviting a couple, you may choose whether to use their names after their titles (Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith), or just use both titles together with the husband's name (Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith). You can also use her first name only if that name is used by all of the Smiths (except for Mr. Smith, who would be referred to as Sir or Dr. Smith).
A wife is also called Lady. This is the title used in writing material such as letters and books. No surname is needed after this title.
A married woman should be treated with respect. She is an equal partner in any relationship, and deserves to be given the same title as her husband (e.g., Mr. or Mrs.). In olden days, women were not expected to work outside the home; therefore, they didn't have a career path like their male counterparts do today. If a woman did work, it usually wasn't lucrative, so calling her "Mrs. X" was sufficient.
Nowadays, many women are choosing to stay at home to take care of their families. While this is an admirable choice that requires support from within the family structure, it doesn't give women a chance to develop themselves professionally. Since they aren't going out into the workforce, they shouldn't be called "Mrs. X" anymore.
If the wife is a doctor, use her first name, as in "The Reverend John and Dr. Jane Smith." If the woman is a judge but not the husband, her name and title appear first. "The Honorable Jane and the Reverend John Smith," for example. In this scenario, Rev. may be shortened.
If there is no title or prefix, use their full names: "The Reverend John Smith" or simply "Smith." There are several examples of this structure in American history. For example, the leaders of the abolition movement were often referred to as "the reverend" or "the minister." No title was necessary because they were ordained clergy.
In modern America, only priests and ministers can be referred to as "reverend." Only those who have been awarded a degree by an accredited college or university can be called "doctor." However, it is common practice to use the title "Dr." before the last name of a physician's spouse. For example, the dean of students at a university might be called "Dr. Jones" even though he or she isn't actually a physician.
It is also acceptable to refer to a priest or minister by his or her religious title. For example, a priest could be called "Father" or "Rev." And a minister could be called "Mr." or "Reverend." But it is not necessary.