The fact about too much love is that it is unjust. It's unjust that you offer your heart to so many people who don't deserve it. It's unjust that you're spending so much time thinking about the one who got away, and that you're allowing them to take up so much room within your body despite the fact that they're no longer there. You have to learn how to put your own needs first, even if it means saying goodbye to some people.
The more you give, the more you will receive. But you have to be aware of what you're giving and why. If you want to grow closer to someone, give them your time and attention. Don't expect anything in return - especially not love - because that's not how this game is played. Love isn't a prize that you win by being good or kind - it's an action that you take toward another person. And the only way to do that is by opening yourself up and letting them in.
The more you open up, the more they will close in. That's how friendships work. Sometimes you go through periods where you feel like you can't live without someone, but that's just part of being human. When those times come around, you have to make sure that you stay true to yourself and build back up again from the inside out. Don't try to force things - let things happen naturally.
As long as you are alive, you will always have a choice.
Because you've beaten yourself up over doubts and bad self-talk, you're difficult to adore. You've always felt that you're not good enough for yourself, let alone for someone else. You are afraid of falling short of other people's expectations. And because of this, no one will ever truly love you.
The truth is that you can only be loved if you first love yourself. But because you've judged yourself so harshly, you haven't been able to love yourself, and therefore cannot expect anyone else to do it for you.
The way out is simple, but it isn't easy. You have to stop comparing your worth to others', especially to those you think should love you. Instead, focus on your strengths and weaknesses, find something you like about yourself, and celebrate that thing. Then do it again tomorrow, and the next day after that. Soon you'll start feeling more confident, which will allow you to actually enjoy yourself instead of just pretending.
Once you've started loving yourself, you'll begin to see that there's nothing wrong with you. You aren't deserving of punishment for a past life, and neither are you worthless today because you made some mistakes. The only person who decides how much value you have is you, and because you understand this now, you can let go of any guilt you might still feel.
That is why a person may love someone more than life, although knowing deep down that it would never work. That is why individuals are capable of abandoning those they love. That is how important each individual's opinion is to any relationship.
Love is not just a feeling but a decision you make every day of your life. You can always change your mind about who you love and what you love. Just like you can decide to stop loving someone, even if they don't want you to, they can also decide not to love you anymore, even if you want them to.
The reason some people love deeply and others merely superficially is that there are some individuals out there who are looking for something serious and long-lasting. If you are one of these people, then you should know that this type of love isn't common or normal. It is very rare for anyone to meet the requirements for such a love due to social norms and expectations. However, that doesn't mean it can't be done! Only those who look will find...
When it comes to the reasons why unrequited love is so terrible, it's because it's quite comparable to sadness. "We're seeking something we'll never be able to achieve, so we get sentiments of loss, which are the same as sadness," Holly adds. "Also, when you have feelings for someone and don't tell them, that feels like rejection, which is similar to grief."
The pain of unrequited love can also be compared to that of loneliness. "Because there's someone out there who you're interested in but they aren't interested in you - this part of your psyche that needs to connect with another person feels pain from being alone," says Dr. Katz. "Loneliness hurts just like unrequited love does - it's painful because you want to be connected to something or someone but can't do anything about it."
Finally, unrequited love can be likened to suffering caused by loss, disappointment, or betrayal. "If you feel like you've been rejected by someone you cared about, then you suffer a loss - even if they didn't call you names or say they didn't like you anymore, a simple'sorry I can't date you' would do!" says Holly. "Or if you were expecting someone to do or be something and they didn't live up to your expectations - that's suffering too! - no matter how little it mattered to you what they thought of you.