The statement is rather complex. Making a lengthy or wordy remark often confuses your reader. It also undermines the point you're attempting to make. A bad thesis is one that is too long or complicated.
A bad thesis is one that is difficult to read. If you use lots of big words or jargon, it will be hard for your reader to understand what you are trying to say. This will cause them to lose interest in your paper and they will likely throw it out.
A bad thesis is one that uses repetitive language. If you repeat yourself, your reader will not feel like they are getting the full message. They will think you are dull or lacking in imagination! Writing with clarity and simplicity is key to making your readers feel like you have put effort into their project. Make sure not to go over three sentences without changing topic or moving away from the main idea.
A bad thesis is one that lacks structure. You need to be able to tell where each section of your essay begins and ends. Otherwise, your reader won't know where to look for information. They will just want to cry "shut up and give me teh codez!". Using headings (i.e. titles) to divide your essay into sections will help keep your reader interested.
So, try to keep your comments as short and concise as possible.
Long sentences and paragraphs are both difficult for readers to follow. This is why many writers like to use subheads to indicate different parts of their essays and why some schools require that students insert a header at the top of each page. Subheads can help to avoid confusing the reader by making important points clear at a glance while still giving the essay a flowy, readable style.
The same principle applies to your thesis statement. If you have a lot to say in your introduction then break it up into several paragraphs with subheadings. This will help readers understand what you're trying to convey without them feeling lost or bored.
As well as being easy to read, your work should also be accessible to others. This means avoiding complex language and focusing on clarity rather than length. Try not to worry about how many words there are; instead, think about how to explain your ideas effectively in a simple way that everyone can understand.
Suggestions for Effective Paraphrasing
Understanding how to recognize and avoid these frequent flaws can help you write a powerful thesis statement.
The thesis statement is divided into three parts: the specific subject, the exact opinion, and the outline of arguments. These components are necessary for any good essay or paper.
The specific subject identifies what topic you will discuss in your essay. It can be as broad as an entire field of study or as narrow as a single issue within that field. Although it can be helpful to divide the subject into sub-sections for clarity, there is no fixed number of these that must be done (except for term papers, which usually include at least one new section per page). As long as you stay with the topic, you can write about anything related to it.
Now that you know what the subject is, you need to state your opinion on it. Did something happen that affected you personally? Or did a event occur that others may not have noticed but which you believe is important? Either way, you should start every essay by saying what opinion you are going to express.
Finally, the outline of arguments lists all of the points you will make during the essay. Like the subject paragraph, there is no set number of sentences needed for this part of the essay; however, it is best if each argument made is supported by at least one example or evidence from the text.